My toddler keeps having tantrums
Most relevant for 1–4 years.
1What might be going on
- Big feelings arrive long before the language and self-control needed to manage them.
- Tantrums often cluster around hunger, tiredness, transitions, and moments of feeling powerless.
2What you can try
- Name the feeling simply: “You wanted the blue cup. That's disappointing.”
- Stay nearby and calm rather than reasoning mid-tantrum — explaining works better afterwards.
- Offer two acceptable choices so your child gets some control back.
- Give a warning before transitions: “Two more minutes, then we put shoes on.”
3Try this
For the next week, track when tantrums happen. If most land before meals or at the end of the day, adjust timing first — that alone often reduces them.
4Parent tips
- Decide in advance what you will say, so you are not inventing a response while upset.
- Repair afterwards with a hug and a short recap. Children learn most in the calm after.
- Staying regulated yourself is the hardest and most useful part. Stepping away for a breath is allowed.
5Related resources
6When to seek additional help
Consider speaking with your child's pediatrician or another qualified professional if:
- Tantrums are frequent and very long, or your child hurts themselves or others often.
- You have concerns about speech, hearing, or development alongside the behaviour.
- Consider speaking with your child's pediatrician if the behaviour is not easing with age.